Thirty Three Things From a Fool’s Paradise

1. “The information age is strewn with verbal (not to mention visual) litter. I’m thinking about the proliferation of words that computers and other media allow us to generate and disseminate so easily that words become cheap and the wonder and responsibility of communication escape us. By verbal litter I mean the heaps of words that are carelessly spoken, typed, and forwarded; that must be waded through in search of those that are really valuable. Part of my reticence to begin blogging was due to the fear of contributing to the staggering volume of foolishness. According to Proverbs 18:2, a fool takes no pleasure in understanding but only in expressing his opinion. For that reason, the internet with its chatrooms, emails, blogs, and websites can be a fool’s paradise.”
From Keith Plummer at The Christian Mind.
2. Luca ‘Lazy Legz’ Patuelli — Breakdancing with muscular and bone disorder (Starts slow, so stay with it until the second song (roughly 15 seconds into the video).)
3. “There are days when it takes all you’ve got just to keep up with the losers” – Robert Orben
4. 101 Dumbest Moments in Business
5. Camille Paglia’s disco playlist
6. Buzzword of the day: microwaiting: The time spent in front of the employee break room microwave while your lunch heats up. Regularly occurs a few minutes before noon and is generally not reported as a part of the lunch hour. (HT: BuzzWhack)
7. Further proof that monkeys are always funny: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5 #6
8. “From the minute you wake up, he makes you hit stuff continously.” Training to become North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il’s bodyguard.

9. Ever wonder what you’d get if you crossed Mystery Science 3000 with a Chick tract?
10. On Work (From the novel, Three Men in a Boat):

It always does seem to me that I am doing more work than I should do. It is not that I object to the work, mind you; I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. I love to keep it by me: the idea of getting rid of it nearly breaks my heart.
You cannot give me too much work; to accumulate work has almost become a passion with me: my study is so full of it now, that there is hardly an inch of room for any more. I shall have to throw out a wing soon.
And I am careful of my work, too. Why, some of the work that I have by me now has been in my possession for years and years, and there isn’t a finger-mark on it. I take a great pride in my work; I take it down now and then and dust it. No man keeps his work in a better state of preservation than I do.

(HT: Professor Bainbridge)
11. Microsoft unveils a new program– WFYP– We Feel Your Pain (HT: Common Grounds)
12. 10 Things You’d Hate about John Wesley (and 10 Things He’d Hate About You!)
13. Michelle Catalano explains the key to popularity in the blogosphere:

Sometimes people ask me, how do you become a popular blogger? How do you make a name for yourself and get readers? I’ll tell you. Controversy. Raging anger. Venom and spitfire. That’s what sells, for the most part. If you aren’t a forerunner in the specific area of blogging you want to get into (those guys have it good, they can just be themselves), you have to carve a niche and more likely than not, that niche needs to be carved with a serrated knife coated in lemon juice and salt. Leave some scars and some pain. That will bring them running…

14. I love when people can turn something nerdy into something cool. Jake Shimabukuro does just that on an amazing redition of George Harrison’s “As My Guitar Gently Weaps”…on a ukelele.
15. Cat herding
16. “I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, ‘Do you know the speed limit here is 50 miles per hour?’ So I said, Oh, that’s OK, I’m not going that far.'” — Steven Wright
17. Deep Thoughts with Jack Handy #1: I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children’s children, because I don’t think children should be having sex.
18. Deep Thoughts with Jack Handy #2: To me, clowns aren’t funny. In fact, they’re kind of scary. I’ve wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.
19. Deep Thoughts with Jack Handy #3: I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it.
20. Never trust a monkey to take notes for you in class.
21. Michael Moore might be old news but this gem from the archives of Frank J. deserves to be dusted off:

And what’s with your statement about how the country is actually all liberal and that the people booing you were actually booing the booers? Do you actually believe that? What kind of fantasy world do you live in? Are there elves and leprechauns there? If there are, and I caught one of those hippy leprechauns and he told me, “If you don’t harm me and let me go, I’ll give you three wishes,” (that would be in Irish brogue; I don’t know how to represent that typing) I wouldn’t let him go, because the only thing I would want would be to give that stupid pinko leprechaun a beating. To be clear, I wouldn’t beat him as much as a regular size hippy, because that would be like a huge beating to him because of his small size, which isn’t his fault. But I assure you it would be a sound beating, and, when he went back to his leprechaun home, he’d tell the other leprechauns, “Aye, what a sound beating I received; quite proportionate to my size.”

22. How to have an Obscure Blog that Almost Nobody Reads
23. Florence King reminds me why I don’t fear the Nanny State:

The Nanny State soon will need a cautionary tale, so I have written one for them: When they came for the smokers I kept silent because I don’t smoke. When they came for the meat eaters I kept silent because I’m a vegetarian. When they came for the gun owners I kept silent because I’m a pacifist. When they came for the drivers I kept silent because I’m a bicyclist. They never did come for me. I’m still here because there’s nobody left in the secret police except sissies with rickets.

24. Which came first, deconstruction or neo-Aristotlianism? If you�re confused about the connections of philosophy after Kant, this flowchart should clear it up. Or not. (HT: Mike Murdock)
25. Dating Tips for Evangelicals: Tip #10: Never give another human being to whom you are not legally married the power to mess with your credit. Broken hearts eventually heal. Bad credit ratings endure.
26. Lately I’ve been experiencing a strange, wistful feeling of abscence. Usually it happens when it rains or at night when I’m alone. It’s an aching sense of inexplicable loss. For the longest time I couldn’t place my finger on what was causing it. But the other day I was at Quiznos and it hit me: I miss the spongmonkeys.
27. How to welcome a Frenchman.
28. Should bloggers have an advance directive that outlines what happens to their online persona if they die?
29. Because you need to read something other than blogs: Where to Find Full-Text Christian Books Online
30. Can God do the illogical?
31. What the world needs: More cat hugging monkeys
32. …and more cowbell.
33. “Vanity of vanities,” says the Preacher, “Vanity of vanities! All is vanity.”

Published by

Joe Carter

Joe Carter founded Evangelical Outpost in 2005. He is the web editor for First Things and an adjunct professor of journalism at Patrick Henry College. A fifteen-year Marine Corps veteran, he previously served as the managing editor for the online magazine Culture11 and The East Texas Tribune. Joe has also served as the Director of Research and Rapid Response for the Mike Huckabee for President campaign and as a director of communications for both the Center for Bioethics and Human Dignity and Family Research Council. He is the co-author of How to Argue like Jesus: Learning Persuasion from History's Greatest Communicaton.

  • John Schroeder (Blogotional)

    Bless you for linking to the spongmonkeys.
    They are a fav at my place…

  • tom

    I saw Jake Shimabukuro when I was in Hawaii a few years ago. He can do truly amazing things with a ukelele.
    Another talented musician of semi-obscure stringed instruments is Chris Thile, who puts out solo albums but also plays with Nickel Creek, the most talented and creative nu-grass band there ever was.

  • RazorsKiss

    #20 – That is Brak, from Space Ghost – perhaps the best cartoon character ever.
    My brother can sound just like him, and knows perhaps every single line Brak has ever uttered. Hey, everyone has a hobby :D

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