How Do You Love a Porn Star?

Religion — By on May 15, 2008 at 12:07 am

I abhor running and despise the taste of beer–two characteristics that are almost incompatible with being a Marine. Yet in the late 1990′s, while stationed at Marine Corps Air Station Miramar, I decided to join the San Diego chapter of the Hash House Harriers, a running club which has as one of its stated goals, “To acquire a good thirst and to satisfy it in beer.”

I had first encountered the infamous international group of “drinkers with a running problem” in Okinawa. Despite the running and the drinking I had enjoyed the camaraderie and so thought it might be an opportunity to meet new people in California.

On my first San Diego run we were on a long hash through the city when an old man jogged by, easily outpacing me and another thirty-something Marine. We chuckled at first, but as his balding grey head faded into the distance we realized that we didn’t have the stamina to catch him. When I caught up to him at the finish line I expressed my shame at getting beat by a geezer. He laughed and boasted that as a retired Army Lt. Colonel he had been running longer than I had been alive.

Instantly charmed, I was eager to learn more about the life of Dave Connors. He told me about his kids, his grandkids, and how he had divorced after two decades of marriage. Dave also told me about what he considered his most noteworthy distinction: he was the world’s oldest working pornographic-film star.

Over the next year I ran the hash nearly every week, logging over a hundred miles and a dozen conversations with the avuncular Vietnam Vet. We’d talk during the runs and after each event a gaggle of hashers would typically end up at a pub or restaurant to chat some more. Dave, needing always to be the center of attention, would steer every conversation toward the topic of sex–the raunchier and more twisted the better. He savored his pseudo-celebrity status and was eager to share with us the gory details about his on-camera exploits.

Being only slightly less moralistic than I am now, I was naturally disturbed and disgusted by Dave’s repugnant vocation. Yet I truly wanted to be his friend. He was warm and amiable and, like many of us, completely messed up. For his age, he was physically vibrant and healthy. But it also seemed as if he suffered from a form of moral leprosy, as if his soul was slowly rotting.

Looking back, I realize I should have set aside my disdain for his work and my fear that he was contagious and simply showed him the love of Christ. But I didn’t know how. I still don’t.


How do you befriend someone who relishes what you despise? Can you show someone love while keeping your distance? If not, how do you draw near to someone who wallows in unrepentant sin? We’re told to follow the example of Jesus in loving our fellow sinners. However, we are rarely provided with practical advice on how to carry out this duty.

For instance, we Christians often speak about how Jesus was a friend to the sinners, how he would often be found in the company of drunks, gluttons, and prostitutes. In all of these cases, though, we are left with the impression that the sinners turned away from their sin. That seems to be the expected reaction to an encounter with the Messiah. Indeed, I can’t imagine how a prostitute could share bread and wine with Jesus and then go back to turning tricks on the street corner.

Still, it seems likely that some of them probably enjoyed Jesus’ company without being fully convicted of their sinful nature. How did he respond? How did his disciples interact with those people? And what do we do when we encounter those types of people today?

Because of his peculiar vocation, Dave Connors may seem like an unrepresentative example. But we all have people like him in our lives–acquaintances, coworkers, family members–who have no intention of giving up their sinful ways. How do we make a friend of someone who chooses to remain an enemy of God?

Normally this would be the point in the post where I would insert a homiletic bromide that would point the way toward a resolution. On this one, though, I not only don’t have an answer; I don’t have a clue. Somehow I’ve managed to spend thirty years as a Christian without learning something so basic as how to truly love an impenitent sinner.

Not surprisingly, learning how to become an unrepentant transgressor of the moral law is much easier. To instruct aspiring video prostitutes, Dave once wrote an essay titled “How To Be A Porn Star.” I’ve never had the stomach to read it, but I suspect that it is much like Dave: fatherly in manner, pragmatic in content, and soul-crushingly obtuse in worldview. We Christians could use a similar guide, one that is pastoral, pragmatic, and edifying, on how to reach the Dave Connors in our broken world.

A sermon on “How to Love a Porn Star” isn’t something I’m likely to hear on a Sunday morning, but it’s a lesson that I desperately need to learn.



  • GotToBTru

    Triple X Church – the world’s leading Christian Porn Site – they have some ideas. http://www.xxxchurch.com

  • George 2

    You wrote: I can’t imagine how a prostitute could share bread and wine with Jesus and then go back to turning tricks on the street corner.
    Oh, I can — I do it all the time. Like the hooker, I go back to earning my living the way I’m accustomed to doing, and I do it without regard for God. If I feel a twinge of guilt deriving from my encounter with Jesus, I can easily rationalize that I’m no worse than every one else, and besides the job needs to be done.
    If I’m a hooker, then at least I’m not a tax collector. If I’m a tax collector, at least I’m sanctioned by the government and not like those thieves selling stuff in the marketplace. If I’m selling stuff in the marketplace, I’m competitive and not forcing anyone to buy my stuff — let the buyer beware.
    Maybe I’ll run into Jesus again someday, and I bet He’ll remember me. But now I’ve got a job to do, and I better do it so I can make the most of my life for me and my family. Because if I don’t look out for us, who will?
    Actually, reading Connors’ essay might be insightful. Why don’t we know how to do what Jesus did? Because we want to be liked and we’re afraid of standing outside the mainstream. So perhaps if we saw how porn stars convince themselves stand outside, we could adapt some exercises to practice for a different purpose.

  • http://honest2blog.blogspot.com Baus

    “GoToBTru” beat me to the triple-x church reference.
    I love your confessing posts like this one, Joe. Let me say I’m not claiming to have the skills you so poignantly desire when I wonder: do you not have many nonChristian friends, or is it that most of them are “virtuous pagans”?
    Let me, at the same time, offer some advice to your college student readers. After college, don’t move to the country or suburbs. Move into a Baltimore-sized city and hangout in the bars with art students and humanities grad students. Buy them beers, go to their shows, talk to them about their preoccupations, and really get to know them… and you’ll have good opportunities to love “porn stars”.

  • http://ultrapastor.blogspot.com Mark Swanson

    “How do we make a friend of someone who chooses to remain an enemy of God?” Just like you did: find common interests (running, beer), let him know who you are and what you believe with an invitation to pursue spiritual matters if desired.
    Then more running, more beer, and keep praying. Intentions and choices can change over time. The HS’s handled tougher nuts than your porn-star friend. Otherwise, none of us would be here.
    And when he weaves his degraded stories, let him know that you’re neither shocked (after all, you read the Bible) nor impressed (after all, you read the Bible).

  • http://bevets.com/grapevine.htm bevets

    Christian love does not depend on the object. It is a natural characteristic of the giver. I am not sure we can define the details, but people will know it when they see it.

  • http://mumonno.blogspot.com Mumon

    Dude,
    If you’re showing love you’re not loving.
    Therein lies your problem.

  • http://evangelicalperspective.blogspot.com Collin Brendemuehl

    Joe,
    I don’t know that a relationship is a necessary part of sharing the gospel. In the NT there is the non-relationship and the close relationship. Just share Christ.
    Collin

  • http://TheEverwiseBoonton.blogspot.com Boonton

    Joe,
    Hope this advice helps, coming from a frequent critic perhaps you can see some irony here but…
    Normally this would be the point in the post where I would insert a homiletic bromide that would point the way toward a resolution. On this one, though, I not only don’t have an answer; I don’t have a clue. Somehow I’ve managed to spend thirty years as a Christian without learning something so basic as how to truly love an impenitent sinner.
    But you do truly love him. You admire his fatherly qualities, you feel drawn to his kindness and enjoy his company as well as his athletic ability, his endurance and his military service. Likewise he came into your life at a point when you were feeling kind of down and lonely.
    Perhaps you should consider your focus here. Maybe instead of asking how God wants you to save this man the real question is why did God put this man in your life. Perhaps this was a case not where you were supposed to teach this man anything but this man was supposed to teach you! No I don’t mean God wanted you to become an athletic porn star. Perhaps God wanted you to see the qualities in that man that drew you to him….maybe you were supposed to reverse the mental image you built of this relationship. Perhaps this man was teaching you how to love the sinner!
    Before you scoff consider just who you are to this man. You oppose what he thinks is good in his life. While he is proud of himself you consider his soul to be rotting. Politically, if you had you way, you might even pass laws that would result in him being in jail. Yet it sounds like even though this man had every reason to consider you an enemy he never choose to treat you like one. You were just as welcome at his table at the bar as was his other buddies who weren’t so critical of him.
    Ergo you now know how to love the sinner. Just do it and stop thinking about it so much. If God is real then his sense of irony is wonderfully delightful, no?

  • http://www.notverydeep.blogspot.com Bill B

    The post on my RSS ended with “I decided to join the San Diego chapter of”. I was thinking “Might he have joined the Hash House Harriers?”. Yup. I see you did not share you HHH nickname. On the other hand, I know enough of their nicknames that you may have been saddled with one that you cannot repeat. Nice post.

  • http://www.boomerinthepew.com David A. Porter

    First of all, please understand that I don’t profess to have all the answers to your challenging question.
    If it were me I would send him a heartfelt letter and let him see your heart. I would let him know that you enjoyed meeting him and getting to know him. I would share with him the obvious respect you have in his physical prowess and his dedication to taking care of himself. This was an obvious attraction in the beginning.
    Then, I would share with him the pain that you obviously felt in your heart. No…not pointing out that he is a sinner (which he obviously is) and driving him away. But share with him the obvious pain in your heart for his life direction that I saw in your post.
    As a man, you can certainly understand the pull of his addiction. But when Mr. Connors lays his head on the pillow at night, he certainly must be feeling the emptiness of his life choice.
    I have recently learned (really come to understand) that from eternity past God has foreordained those who would become His children. Yet at the same time (a mystery that our infinite minds cannot comprehend) this whole process begins with “a call” (perhaps you planting seeds in his mind) and a hopeful response on his part. It is merely our our job to awaken the sinner. Dr. Wayne Grudem likens it to going fishing and knowing, for certain, that you will catch fish.
    We don’t know if Mr. Connors was chosen, by God, to be in his family. We also don’t know if Mr. Connors will respond to the call.
    What I do know and see in your heart is a desire (I believe Christ would call this love) to point this man in the right direction.
    So…I say write the man an heartfelt letter and let him know your heart. No preaching….simply your heart.
    Who knows, perhaps you are God’s instrument to lead this guy into the arms of Christ! I am excited for you.
    Go for it! I promise he will read the letter. I further promise that he will keep the letter (most likely) and read it over and over. You will have planted the Holy Spirit’s seed in his life.
    How cool is that!

  • http://dimlylit.org Ron

    Great post, Joe. I don’t have the answers either – all to often don’t even want to mess with the struggle. I’ve had a couple of opportunities though to strike up good friendships with homosexuals. One thing that has become apparent to me in those relationships is the value of simply really being a friend; listening, laughing, commiserating, encouraging, etc. Add to that being up front and clear about my relationship with Jesus – and being willing to joke about that as well. Humor does wonders in relaxing people.
    I’m not sure how this will come across, but it seems to me that if we simply love people – enjoy them and find them interesting. If we do the things above, then instead of sharing Christ with others, to some degree we become Christ to them.

  • Truth Unites… and Divides

    “How do we make a friend of someone who chooses to remain an enemy of God?
    I’m clueless too. Yet this is still a great, great post Joe.
    I do like Mark Swanson’s and David Porter’s suggestions. Some random thoughts:
    (1) It depends on what kind of “friend” you want to be. In one sense it’s pretty easy to be a friend to someone who deliberately chooses to be an enemy of God. You just hang out with them. Do stuff, laugh and joke around, listen to each other, whatever… just spend time together.
    But can you do so without hurting your own walk with God? Depends on the Christian I suppose. There are verses in Psalms and elsewhere in Scripture about not walking with the wicked.
    (2) But if you aspire to be a different kind of “friend”, one where you prayerfully share the Gospel with him, well that’s the rub, isn’t it?
    After all, there’s a chance that after sharing the Gospel, the awkwardness of sharing the Gospel and a subsequent rejection of it will lead to a deterioration in the friendship. Would that bother you Joe?
    But then again, who knows, he might embrace the Gospel and wonder why you took so long to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ with him.
    (3) It’s a tricky thing about Gospel and Friendship. I wonder if it’s possible to conflate the two. Anyways, if it’s truly agape friendship then I think the vulnerability and risk of sharing the Gospel at the possible expense of jeopardizing/destroying a friendship is the God-honoring path.
    Peace and Blessings.

  • http://umbl0g.blogspot.com john umland

    Do to him as you would have him do to you is a start. Sounds like you did that. When opportunity arises present a different approach to the world and prepare for ridicule but keep smiling. Our secret is that we know our team captain already won the game and all the setbacks and attacks are temporary.
    God is good
    jpu

  • Mike

    Like you, I also served as a Marine (92-96). I was a grunt, and as you know, life in the infantry is like one big boys locker room. I was a believer during those years and often found myself in very uncomfortable positions. Today, I serve those Marines as a chaplain and have somehow managed to love those boys who are just as crude and vulgar as they were in my day. I don’t judge them or make them feel uncomfortable around me. I just patiently and prayerfully accept them hoping it will (as it often does) give me some opportunity to offer Christ to them down the road. Most of my flock are not porn stars, but a great many of them would be if given the situation. It’s no secret. Just love them.

  • Marvin the Martian

    “Dude,
    If you’re showing love you’re not loving.
    Therein lies your problem.

    What exactly are you saying? Are you actually saying that “feelings” of love trump actions of love?

  • http://www.jkjonesthinks.blogspot.com J. K. Jones

    Good post.
    As a recovering alcoholic, I have found loving the sinful to be possible only in a Spirit of deep humility. Remembering the circumstances and crushing consequences of my last drunk make that kind of humility easier to come by.
    JK

  • Bill Duncan

    Interesting thoughts. I hope you made a lasting impression, too. Dave Connors died of aids, year unknown.

  • Marie

    I don’t think you are supposed to do everything Jesus did.
    You are His ambassador, and you do try to emulate Him. That said, you can’t do it all because you are not God.
    I would certainly give this man the gospel and I would pray for him.
    I would not, however, pal around with him like “it’s all good.” It’s not all good.
    We don’t know the details of the interactions Jesus had with, say, the prostitute. When he sat with the woman at the well, He didn’t find areas of common interest and invite her to His pad for a barbecue. He was kind, He didn’t yell, He listened – and He confronted her about her sins and gave her the gospel. And that was it, as far as we know. Same with the tax collector He dined with. He didn’t invite the tax collector out. The TC was there, at dinner, and Jesus, know His own, spoke to him about the gospel.
    I am NOT advocating that you act “Holier Than Thou.” I am advocating that you reconsider whether you have to make friends with everyone you want to witness to, in the sense that you have to call them up and have dinner with them and go to the movies. I simply don’t see that in Scripture.

  • http://mumonno.blogspot.com Mumon

    Marvin the Martian:
    If what I wrote ain’t obvious to you, you evidently know very little about your own scripture.
    Ponder it.

  • Marvin the Martian

    If what I wrote ain’t obvious to you, you evidently know very little about your own scripture.
    Ponder it.

    What you wrote seemed very obvious to me. But I didn’t want to read something into it that you didn’t intend on saying, hence my request at clarification.
    Please do cite for me the scriptures that lead you to the conclusion that it is more important to “feel” love than it is to “show” love. I respectfully submit that perhaps it is you who has a misunderstanding of what the scriptures are saying.
    I have always understood that the Bible as a whole commands believers to just love, and the examples that the bible gives of loving behavior are always actions, never feelings. Love is a verb as it is said in Christian circles.
    Why? Because feelings come and feelings go. But a decision to show love inspite of how one feels is the ultimate display of love. For example, Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane praying to the Father, he made it very clear that he didn’t want to go through the horrific torture and execution that he knew he was about to be subjected to. Jesus said if there is any other way (meaning any other way to bring about God’s redemptive plan), please take this cup from me (meaning don’t make me go through this). But in the end, Jesus said nevertheless, not my will but yours be done. That was Jesus love for the Father and the people his death would redeem that led him to trump his own feelings.

  • ElDuce

    Marvin the Martian…
    Thank you. “Because feelings come and feelings go. But a decision to show love inspite of how one feels is the ultimate display of love.”
    I needed to hear that again!

  • http://www.conversiondiary.com/ Jennifer (Et Tu?)

    Joe -
    I’m a bit late on this, but just wanted to thank you for covering this topic. I can *really* relate to this one. I’m a convert from atheism, and most of my friends and family members are still atheists. My husband and I know many people who, like your friend, not only live lifestyles that I now find disturbing and destructive, but they evangelize for their beliefs and their way of life.
    “How do you befriend someone who relishes what you despise? Can you show someone love while keeping your distance? If not, how do you draw near to someone who wallows in unrepentant sin?”
    I’ve asked myself this many times. Your previous commenters have offered many great thoughts on the subject, but I just wanted to add one little thing that I do that I’ve found helpful in these situations:
    An odd phrase came to me one time while I was praying about this: I felt drawn to pray for God to “show me their wounds,” i.e. let the pain that has led them to this way of life be more obvious to me. It has been a *very* effective prayer.
    When people turn away from God there is almost always deep pain at the root of that decision. Ever since I began praying for this, for God to help me see the hurt that has caused my friends to choose these destructive ways of life, it has been much easier for me to respond to them in kindness and charity, to see how desperately they need the love and peace of Christ (even when they’re harassing me about my conversion to Christianity!).
    An analogy I’ve often thought of is of passing a dog who growled and snapped at you. If the dog looked healthy, you’d be tempted to write it off as a “bad dog,” feel angry towards it, and avoid its presence; if, however, you could see that the dog had a festering wound and was in great pain, you’d naturally treat it with kindness and sympathy, disregard its aggressive behavior, and try to help him heal.
    Anyway, I just thought I’d share that little prayer in case it’s helpful at all. It’s been nothing short of life-changing for me!

  • Frank

    In one of his letters, Paul says that if a brother (i.e. a member of the Church) is sinning, speak to him privately about it. Then take one or two others with you and speak to him about it again. But at last, an unrepentant sinner must be cast out of the Church. Why? Because the Church is the bride of Christ. The Church has to be purifying itself, not rotting from within.
    You seem to think that you have a duty to draw this man close in a loving manner, as a brother. You do not have any such duty. You have a duty to call out his sin, to reprove him. And if he repents, THEN you have a duty to draw him into the Church.
    Reproving him and calling on him to repent will earn you scorn (imagine the other Hash House Harriers sitting around the drinking table as you do it). You will be unpopular. The world does not like to hear the message that Jesus asked us to deliver. But it is an act of spiritual mercy to alert someone that their soul is rotting. The statement must be made in a humble (i.e. non-self-promoting manner), but it must be made without equivocation. Scan the New Testament and you will find many, many examples of Jesus, Paul, Peter and all of the apostles calling out sins in this manner. And being stoned to death for it. Welcome to Christianity.

  • http://TheEverwiseBoonton.blogspot.com Boonton

    In looking at many of the comments here I notice a consistent theme…basically it can be summed up as “I’m better than this person, tell me how I can possibly love him when he is so beneath me!”
    It’s an odd position to take because that was essentially the point of view that Jesus lashed out the most violently against. Take the woman he stopped from being stoned for adultry, for example. The woman probably did commit adultry. Many in the crowd probably did not. Technically her sins were almost certainly higher than those picking up the stones. Many in the crowd probably were quite angry because they put a considerable amount of effort into following all the various rules and this woman was not putting up half the effort they were enduring. Jesus told her to go and sin no more after he stopped the crowd. He didn’t tell the crowd to stop on the condition that she sin no more or agree to try to sin no more. In fact, the Gospel, if I recall correctly (and I’m certainly not one to trust here, check it yourself) doesn’t even find it important enough to tell us whether she did bother to stop sinning. For all we know, she was back at it the next day.
    Joe fantasizes that Jesus walked around with a halo and everyone he spoke with immediately reformed and turned around…..kind of like the low level drug dealer Obi-wan Kenobi used his “Jedi mind trick” to reform in Star Wars ep 2. That doesn’t square with orthodox theology which holds that Jesus both seemed and was human as much as God.
    The answer is there in plain sight and I think most of you are missing it. What’s eluding you is that you’re not seeing the assumption you’re making about yourself that causes you to ask the question. You’re assuming that because you’re better you have nothing to learn from the fellow whose worse than you & if the worse off fellow isn’t kissing your butt…well how can you love him?
    The reality is that you’re not better than him even if you happen to be keeping more rules at the moment than he is. You have just as much opportunity to learn from him than you do from someone you think is a modern day saint. In Joe’s case the lesson he can learn from this guy is the answer to the very question he is asking.

  • http://consumedblog.blogspot.com Owen Strachan

    Beautiful post. Winsome and thoughtful. Totally on point. The central idea is simple but spot on–how can I be a Christian for so long, listening to all these sermons, and have basically no idea about how to approach non-Christians other than to share the gospel and make amiable conversation?
    I would say that there’s really not a lot to this matter. It’s a matter of befriending people, actually being their friend, and speaking truth winsomely and boldly. People respect when you when you a) stand for what you believe and b) listen to and care for them. So I think that there’s not really a lot of theory one needs to study here. We need to simply be around lost people, get involved in their lives, and show love and speak truth like salt on meat.
    But typing this and doing it–pushing past the revulsion, fear, apathy, and unbelief–are two very different things.

  • http://solshine7.blogspot.com SolShine7

    The question should be how do you love another person? Because that’s what it comes down to no matter what anyone’s profession might be.
    But if you want to see a great example of a ministry that reaches out to pornstars and prostitutes then check out http://www.shelleylubben.com

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