Comments on: I don’t…or do I? http://evangelicaloutpost.com/archives/2009/11/i-dontor-do-i.html reflections on culture, politics, and religion from an evangelical worldview Fri, 19 Mar 2010 07:26:22 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Amy Cannonhttp://evangelicaloutpost.com/archives/2009/11/i-dontor-do-i.html/comment-page-1#comment-101753 Amy Cannon Wed, 06 Jan 2010 03:11:58 +0000 http://evangelicaloutpost.com/?p=4075#comment-101753 Sonya, I didn't mean to be dismissive of divorce, or of its legal difficulties. I only meant to point out that it is, in a certain sense, routine, because of its relative commonality. I don't think that you can't Christianly disagree with my point, either. I guess I just see greater risk involved when you've bound yourself before God, friends, and state with the intention of staying together no matter what, than moving in together and 'seeing what happens,' and there's a way in which that kind of risk is more romantic. Understood this way, marriage is less certain, it is less safe, and it is a more radical thing to do. Love requires trust, a trust which sometimes concerns an unknown future, and old fashioned marriage vows may be a good example of this sort of trust. Sonya, I didn’t mean to be dismissive of divorce, or of its legal difficulties. I only meant to point out that it is, in a certain sense, routine, because of its relative commonality. I don’t think that you can’t Christianly disagree with my point, either. I guess I just see greater risk involved when you’ve bound yourself before God, friends, and state with the intention of staying together no matter what, than moving in together and ’seeing what happens,’ and there’s a way in which that kind of risk is more romantic. Understood this way, marriage is less certain, it is less safe, and it is a more radical thing to do. Love requires trust, a trust which sometimes concerns an unknown future, and old fashioned marriage vows may be a good example of this sort of trust.

]]> By: Amy Cannonhttp://evangelicaloutpost.com/archives/2009/11/i-dontor-do-i.html/comment-page-1#comment-101752 Amy Cannon Wed, 06 Jan 2010 02:56:30 +0000 http://evangelicaloutpost.com/?p=4075#comment-101752 You raise an interesting question, though I don't think it impinges on my post in the way you suggest. I certain didn't intend to say that a wedding ceremony or a legal status is equivalent to marriage itself. In my post, I sought to focus on the "regulative confirmation and legitimation" as something less and less requisite, but which still make "getting married" a more risky thing than co-habitating. I suggest that this is more romantic, and ambivalently desired by a culture caught between its desire for freedom and its love of fairy tales. Hope that clarifies. You raise an interesting question, though I don’t think it impinges on my post in the way you suggest. I certain didn’t intend to say that a wedding ceremony or a legal status is equivalent to marriage itself. In my post, I sought to focus on the “regulative confirmation and legitimation” as something less and less requisite, but which still make “getting married” a more risky thing than co-habitating. I suggest that this is more romantic, and ambivalently desired by a culture caught between its desire for freedom and its love of fairy tales. Hope that clarifies.

]]> By: Martin Millshttp://evangelicaloutpost.com/archives/2009/11/i-dontor-do-i.html/comment-page-1#comment-101749 Martin Mills Mon, 04 Jan 2010 03:18:48 +0000 http://evangelicaloutpost.com/?p=4075#comment-101749 Ami, Does a marriage require a wedding? I'm not sure it (always) does, and I'm not sure that your post stands as strongly when we introduce this distinction.As my pal Karl has written: "The equation of marriage with the wedding ceremony is a dreadful and deep-rooted error. Two people may be formally married and fail to live a life which can seriously be regarded as married life. And it may happen that two people are not married and yet in their precarious way live under the law of marriage. A wedding is only the regulative confirmation and legitimation of a marriage before and by society. It does not constitute a marriage." (Karl Barth, CD 3.4)An interesting discussion along these lines takes place here: http://faith-theology.blogspot.com/2008/07/against-marriage-or-why-churches-should.htmlThoughts?Best wishes, Martin Ami, Does a marriage require a wedding? I’m not sure it (always) does, and I’m not sure that your post stands as strongly when we introduce this distinction.

As my pal Karl has written: “The equation of marriage with the wedding ceremony is a dreadful and deep-rooted error. Two people may be formally married and fail to live a life which can seriously be regarded as married life. And it may happen that two people are not married and yet in their precarious way live under the law of marriage. A wedding is only the regulative confirmation and legitimation of a marriage before and by society. It does not constitute a marriage.” (Karl Barth, CD 3.4)

An interesting discussion along these lines takes place here: http://faith-theology.blogspot.com/2008/07/against-marriage-or-why-churches-should.html

Thoughts?

Best wishes,
Martin

]]> By: Sonyahttp://evangelicaloutpost.com/archives/2009/11/i-dontor-do-i.html/comment-page-1#comment-101744 Sonya Wed, 30 Dec 2009 17:53:54 +0000 http://evangelicaloutpost.com/?p=4075#comment-101744 Wow, as someone who's been through a divorce (with no children involved), the legal hassle is horrible; time consuming, difficult finding a good lawyer, and unbelieveably expensive. Changing your name on all your documents, going to court, etc. etc. I don't believe in co-habiting before marriage, but I absolutely do think there is some truth that it takes more commiment; I know so many Christians who stay in the marriage only because it's the "Christian" thing to do, but hate each other. I do agree, even as a Christian, that staying even when you don't "have to" is much more committed. Wow, as someone who’s been through a divorce (with no children involved), the legal hassle is horrible; time consuming, difficult finding a good lawyer, and unbelieveably expensive. Changing your name on all your documents, going to court, etc. etc. I don’t believe in co-habiting before marriage, but I absolutely do think there is some truth that it takes more commiment; I know so many Christians who stay in the marriage only because it’s the “Christian” thing to do, but hate each other. I do agree, even as a Christian, that staying even when you don’t “have to” is much more committed.

]]>