Homesick Holidays: Why Long-Distance Relationships Are Good For You

Culture, Friendship — By on December 12, 2013 at 8:00 am

One of the hardest things about life is being away from the people you love. This sort of pain does not heal with time; it only gets worse. However, one of the best ways to grow, as a person and as a Christian, is by being away from those same people.

You are bound to experience the pain of separation at some point or another – so you might as well make the best of it. For example, when you’re growing up and trying to figure out what kind of a person you are, it helps to have physical distance between yourself and the people who have always defined you. If you’ve only ever lived relying on your family or close friends to help you make decisions, then maybe it’s time for you to leave home and learn what it means to rely solely on God. Don’t be afraid of forging a new path for yourself, whether by going off to college, moving to a new job, or you getting a fresh start in a new place.

Because the world isn’t perfect, Jesus had to spend time separated from His Father. It was painful and unpleasant, but it was necessary for our salvation. You feel some of that pain when you’re separated from loved ones, and you become more like Jesus because of it. Thankfully, as Christians, we can never be separated from God; we will never experience the same pain that Jesus felt. Striking out on your own somewhere, even if just for a little while, allows characteristics you’ve never seen in yourself to come out. It requires you to build your identity around Christ. Yes, we were made to live in a loving community of fellow-believers, and I’m not suggesting you go live by yourself on a deserted island. You need people around you who will go see new movies with you, who will spontaneously bring you food from your favorite restaurant, and who know when you’ve had a good or bad day. You need those relationships no matter where you are. But when you’re always around the same people, when relationships are easy, how well do you really know the people you’re spending time with? How well do you really know yourself? If a relationship, any relationship, can last through hundreds of miles between two people, than the bond that keeps them together can only grow stronger.

I had many childhood friends that I went to school and church with who I felt close to growing up. Only one friend stuck with me through the years and asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. She was the one who lived 800 miles away and I only saw twice a year. We went to school together from kindergarten to second grade, and then her family moved away. But we wrote letters to each other and her grandparents lived down the street from my house. We relished the time that we could physically spend together, and it made both of us appreciate the friendship all the more.

As the holiday season approaches us, I’m reminded of the distance between my family and me. We measure that distance by time – I’m three hours away from my parents and oldest sister, nine hours away from my other sister, and sixteen hours away from my third sister. This distance, though painful, has actually brought us closer together as a family and has brought each of us closer to God in our own way. It forces you to put effort into a relationship, to actually take time to talk to someone and understand how they are doing, not just casually ask them “how are you?” at the end of each day. The distance isn’t permanent, and I’m not suggesting your relationships should always be long-distance. Jesus was only separated from God for three days. We learn something different about people when we are constantly living beside them, and we need those people. But we shouldn’t be afraid of long-distance relationships, either. Relationships can survive and grow through the distance.

So go to another state, another country. See new sights. Experience new adventures. Email, Skype, and call the ones you love. And when you get back to them, your relationship will be stronger because of the distance that was between you.


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